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How To Ask For Money Instead Of A Wedding Gift
By S Canfield
Asking for instead of wedding gifts is a delicate matter. However, the marriage age is much higher nowadays than what it was a few decades ago. Most of the people are well settled with full fledged households when they get married. The original idea of presenting various articles as wedding gifts to help the newly married couple to easily set up their household has become totally redundant now. As such, many wedding couples ask “How could we tell our guests that we would prefer instead of various wedding gifts?” It is natural for the newlyweds to have more expenses to meet immediately after the marriage. The honeymoon costs, the down payment for a new house, the purchase of a second automobile, the requirements which need hard cash are more at present than before. Further, nobody would like to have a second or a third bread toaster or four coffeemakers that are hard to use in a single house. Hence, it is not surprising that people feel would be more useful than the conventional wedding gifts. Still, asking the guests to present rather than the conventional wedding gifts is not an easy one. Is there a polite way of asking people for instead of a wedding gift?
One method adopted by some brides and the bridegrooms in asking for instead of wedding gifts is to mention explicitly in the wedding invitation itself. In the invitation, they clearly state that they prefer cash to gifts. However, this is normally considered rude and abrupt. Convention and etiquettes demand that or wedding gifts are not mentioned at all in the wedding invitations. A wedding invitation is supposed to convey only your wish that the guests should be present at your wedding and treat it as a special occasion. Anything else in the wedding invitation, particularly the mention about or wedding gifts is looked at as uncultured behavior.
In spite of the above tricky points, there are a few definite solutions to ask instead of wedding gifts. At the first stage of the wedding planning, the bride and the bridegroom could prepare a checklist of the probable persons who would be able to contribute to the several portions of the wedding expenses. To do this, the various expenses have to be listed out initially like this.
Bride's expenses
The wedding gown and
accessories
The ring to be presented to the groom
Thank you gifts for the bridesmaids, maid of honor, and other hostesses
Items like ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket, etc.
Hotel accommodations for attendants and guests from bride’s side
Bride’s medical visit expenses
Bridegroom's expenses
Bridegroom’s marriage suit and accessories
The ring to be presented to the bride at engagement
The ring to be presented to the bride at the wedding
Thank you gifts for the groomsmen and the best man
The marriage license expenses
Flowers and bouquet to the bride
Items like ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket, etc.
Fees to be paid to the clergyman and officiate
Transportation expenses for the wedding and the reception
Hotel accommodations for attendants and guests from bridegroom’s side
Bridegroom’s medical visit expenses
Combines expenses for the bride and the bridegroom
Wedding invitations
Wedding pictures
Musician costs
Candle holders
Wedding reception hall fee
Wedding reception decorations
Wedding reception catering expenses, including wedding cake and table decor
Wedding favors and other miscellaneous items like napkins, goblets, etc.
Thank you cards for the wedding guests
Overnight hotel accommodations, if needed
Honeymoon arrangements and related expenses
It would be quite easy if the bride, bridegroom, parents of the bride and the groom and other relatives & friends are asked to bear one expense item of their choice. If fifteen to twenty persons share these expenses, then there would be no need to ask for instead of wedding gifts. If both families and their friends plan together, the wedding costs could be split without straining the budget of any single person.
Another option is to keep a wedding register at the reception, which is a polite way of asking for from the guests. Nowadays, several registry services operate that request guests to select and buy specific items for the honeymoon of the couple, as well as the other wedding expenses. As a last resort, the wedding invitation could contain a humble request for instead of wedding gifts, if the bride and the groom are forced to bear all the expenses, with no assistance from anybody else.
S Canfield, owner of Accent the Party selling many different types and themes of unique wedding party favors, bridal shower favors and party favors.
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